Peace on Earth....

Ever feel like your life is spinning out of control? That's mine right now. I ache all over and can't focus on anything. I need a good cry but can't seem to muster one for anything. I wonder so often when God will say "enough" and remove some of the trials from my life. Is it selfish and wrong of me to wish my burdens were less, even if just for a time? I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I know I haven't pursued God as I should recently. I feel rather empty and I know I should be more active in seeking Him. None of the excuses I make count for much. Do I blame God? Not in light of my inaction. Do I wish He would make life easier? Yes, very much so. This is a selfish reaction and an empty plea to the God who manages the universe and sets the planets in motion. I know He knows my heart, and as confused and inside out as it is, I think it's time to step out in faith and seek Him more for the answers I don't have. I need peace. I need to not feel like at any moment, something else is going to happen that will yet again destroy my trust and turn my life upside down. In my life, every person I've ever chosen to trust with everything has let me down, excluding only my husband. Will the vicious cycle ever end?